Margie’s has Indoor Plumbing. But no plates.

The dude I live with and I have been together for 4.5 years and seeing as he isn’t from here, when we first started dating I wanted to show him all the sights.

Unfortunately to see “all the sights” only took about 5 days.  But fortunately for me we are creatures of habit, so to fill the 1,653 other days we go to Sushi Axiom (which used to be Chuy’s til we drank all day with another couple and decided to drink dinner there.  Oh, mistakes.  They say hindsight blahblahblah but I’m pretty sure I knew it was not a wise decision at the time.  Should I have margaritas for dinner?  No.  Ok, let’s go to Chuy’s after I finish this gin and tonic.  Oh, Chuy’s. I miss you.  Please forgive me one day).   I have been trying to get him to go to Margie’s since day two but he always refused.   It took 4 years but I finally broke him down.

My old roommate and I used to go Margie’s a lot.  I’m not quite sure why, seeing as it was 20 minutes from our house and out in the middle of no where.  Oh and on occasion the food was frozen in the middle, but I think the fact we continued to go might of had to do with me being underage and them not giving a shit.  Oh, I have to eat this frozen entree for you to give me wine?  Sure, that is actually not going to be a problem for me.

If I had my own restaurant, there are two things I would model in my resto after Margie’s.  I would, 1- also pour everyones wine like this.  Drunk people have fun, unless you’re at Chuy’s, then you (and by you I mean me) are just annoying.  And 2- I would also have indoor plumbing.  I love how that is a selling point on the outside of the restaurant.

I always love eating here but it’s one of those places where it’s either a really great  food or one of your worst dining experiences.  The funny thing is the service is always terrible but in a non-offensive way.  Like they just suck at serving food.  The waiter spent so much time taking our order but we only received parts of it.  Who cares, my wine was literally overflowing onto the table.  We asked for bread (twice because he forgot the first time) and he walked into the kitchen and came out with a loaf of bread in his hand and put it on the table.    No plates, but I figure they recover each table in paper after each diner so no need.  Plates?  Waste of time.  We also don’t need forks, clearly we have hands.  Thanks.

Random side story- there is this place in Port Aransas called Crazy Cajun. They serve your meal to you in a bucket (it’s like a crab/crawfish boil) and just dump it on your table.  There is a wrench, or whatever those tools are called to break open crab legs, and you get a roll of Bounty.  No forks.  No plates.  Kind of reminded me of Margie’s.

Eggplant goopile!

Oh dear jesus, I have to tell this.  When we overheard this sitting at our booth, my boyfriend looked at me painfully and said his ears hurt.  I said I had to put it on this blog because it was so stupid, and he looked at me and said, “I don’t doubt that you will for one second. ”  Not sure what he meant but that but I’m just going to assume it was positive.  You know what they say about people that assume things.  That they’re always right.

ANYWAY, there was the whitest trash of white trash sitting in the booth behind us discussing where they should vacation.  They spoke of visiting England (please don’t.  We Americans already have a hard enough time abroad) but he said he didn’t want to go to England.  “I want to go to Wales, see where the King lives.”  Well, they’re going to be looking around Wales for a long time seeing as there is no King and all the other folks he’s probably looking for are actually in England.

Then he continued on to say he also wanted to see Scotland. “It’s next to England on the other side.  Like the top part of the other side.”  Whatever the fuck that means.  All the while their four year old daughter, dressed like a 36 year-old stripper, is standing on the booth dancing to Garth Brooks, which is playing loudly in the back ground (you should also note Margie’s has a juke box).

Then they talked about “hitting up France.”  Now I am by no means brilliant in geography or the english language but I sat there feeling like  someone should give me a doctorate in both.  I just closed my eyes listening to “Friends in Low Places” and pretended I was at the Wynn in Las Vegas.

Oh, and then I went bowling.

1. President Kitty. 2. Monty’s Corner

FIRE SALE ON CATS!  All cats must go!

This sign made me laugh, just solidified the fact people really don’t like cats.  I remember when I bought my black cat from the Humane Society, the lady handing him over said, “let me give you some advice.”  Seeing as I had never owned a cat, even advice from this absolute weirdo was greatly appreciated (made me think of new moms venturing home from the hospital with their babies.  You get home and you’re like ‘um…ok, now what?’).  “Don’t take him out on Halloween.  Someone will kill him.”  Well, first of all and most importantly of all, I haven’t yet gotten to the point when I go out I take my cat with me.  Second, I have seen Halloween bring out the worst in people but it was more alcohol related, not murdering cats related.  But, seeing as it was good advice, I don’t take President Kitty out with me on Halloween, and, in turn, I never have to worry about him getting assassinated.

I was in a mood yesterday (this blog is starting to portray me as moody and fat.  I’m going to have to look into that) and my other half suggested we go to Wine Styles (my favorite, his not favorite so he was being nice to me.  He does love me!).   They have some of my favorite wines (look at Rain Man writing down all his important things) including this Meritage by Hayman & Hill.

After that, seeing as the cat sign was on my mind and the idea of going to the bar at Sushi Axiom was out (it had been 24 hours since our last visit), we went to Monty’s Corner.  We seriously need to move because I seem to go to the same three places overandover again.  I’m going to change the name of this blog to http://www.ineverleavemontgomeryplaza.com.  Anyway, the only interesting thing about Monty’s Corner is this picture of Black Elvis.

I’m hungry and it’s been over 24 hours.  Sushi Axiom for lunchies!

Drinks on Fire! I ate at La Familia

It made me laugh because the drinks were delivered by our waiter when my other half was in the little boys room.  The waiter looked at me, lit my drink on fire then said, “Blow it out.  Make a wish.  Wish for another margarita” and then walked away.  Made me giggle a little regardless of the fact his delivery left a little to be desired. So my boyfriend comes back to the table and the waiter reappeared and lights his drink on fire.  He looked at him, and said, “Blow it out.  Make a wish.  Wish for another margarita.”  I didn’t giggle that time.  It angered me.  I now hate that guy.

I titled this Drinks on Fire but actually everything was on fire.   Here are some fajeetas on fire.  Actually that’s not my food so I’m not sure what that is on fire, it could be nachos for all I know.  This place is so dark, it’s like eating in your closet with the lights off.  I think they light your food and drinks on fire so you can finally see who ended up meeting you for dinner.  Wear your flame retardant clothes.

It’s what I imagine eating in hell is like.

Spiral Diner. But I can actually eat anywhere…

There is something to be said about vegetarian food and what is to be said about it is that it’s kind of gross looking.   A friend of mine took me to Spiral Diner the other day for my birthday and,  as I am a creature of habit and rarely branch out (one of my non-amazing qualities), I  ordered the Hummus Wrap for the hundredth time.  Which as you can see below looks like a goo-pile with a side of apples (weird).  But it is delicious and makes my tum-tum happy.

It’s always funny to me that around my birthday each year, my friends start calling (I actually don’t have that many friends, it’s usually the same two people) wanting to take me to lunch at Spiral Diner.  Which is fine, I like that place, but although I’m a vegetarian other restaurants do let me in.

That said, no one ever wants a side of sliced apples with their meal.  I’m not 4-years-old but I am…

Actually no I’m not.  I’m vegetarian as fuck but I assume that wouldn’t fit on a pin that small.

St. Ann’s. Yeah, that’s Avocado…

This New Year’s I gave up pizza, chips and some other generally ‘bad for you’ foods.  So yesterday I went and ate pizza at St. Ann’s in Dallas.

They have the option of ‘make your own flatbread’ which, I have noticed due to past experience, anyone allowing me to ‘do my own thing’ usually results in a bad tasting disasterpile.  But somehow they managed to make something even out of my bizarre order of sun dried tomatoes, goat cheese and avocado.   Avocado is weird on pizza.  

Now I’m going to go eat some pho so prepare yourself pho some more pho jokes (oh yeah).

Trough Burger Wagon Please

I learned an important lesson today.  Don’t walk up to someone and say, “I have $5, how much does this cost?” because the answer will then change to $5.

I’m an idiot so that was the way I chose to start my conversation in regards to my breakfast sandwich.  I have the feeling if I hand’t tipped my hand I would have walked away from the Burger Trough with a delicious $3 sandwich which would have then afforded me the bottle of water I so desperately needed.

My egg, cheese and jalapeño sammie was pretty tasty though; you know it’s good (and bad for you) when the paper in which it’s wrapped is clear with grease.  Random thought- I was watching The Simpsons one time (I was in middle school, shut up) and Homer was explaining you can tell how good something is by how much grease soaks though.  I think he took a turkey leg and rubbed it against the dining room wall and they could see into the living room.  This sandwich made me think that this would be a good way to see what my new neighbors look like.

So in terms of deliciousness value, I would give it a $8.  But since this isn’t a communist nation, we don’t charge on a varying scale and I shouldn’t be charged more because I’m an idiot.  Next time, the convo will go like this:

“I have $1.50.  How much is this?”

“More than you have.  Get lost.”

Anyway, go eat there.  My breakfast sandwich made of gold was delicious.

But stop by the bank first, you might need to dip into your savings if you want to add a drink.

Daybreak again? If I must…

Daybreak?  nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom…  I think this must be how they serve their plates.  This is what mine always looks like.

Actually this time, we (my other half and I) went with another couple the morning after a late evening that included a stint at the White Elephant (side note part 1: last time I was at White Elephant I threw up in the planter box outside at 3pm so I try not to frequent all too often).    She laughed at how much I ordered then I amazed (might not be the right word) her with the fact I ate it all .  Yes, I was hungry…so, yeah, I ate it all (and four pieces of toast off her boyfriend’s plate which I dipped in salsa.  Oh god, it was delicious…).

Side note part 2: There was this taco place (who will remain nameless because I’m about to talk shit) that was across the street from where I live and connected to a bar.  So I would drink too much and go eat tacos, maybe twice (four or five times.  Get off me) a week.  WELL, once I ate there sober.  Life changing.  I finally found out…it actually does not taste good.  Not good at all…  It’s like the first time you eat Whataburger sober after college.  You realize it’s not delicious and you question why you have been doing this to yourself for years.

It’s asounding the impact alcohol has on your tastebuds.  I don’t even want to know what Taco Bell tastes like (speaking of which, I think I left my credit card there Friday night.  Might need to look into that…).

La Familia

Where did I want to go?  Fred’s.  But at 10:01am I was quasi-politely informed that I would have to wait another 29 minutes til they opened at 10:30.

Seeing as we walked there and had few other options, we found that La Familia opens at 8. Which is pretty crazy because who is eating mexican food at 8am.  Not this person.

But it also appears no one eats mexican food at 10:15.

A little something about La Familia is they shake your hand when you walk in the door.  Well, a little something about me is I distinctly don’t like people touching me (which I’m pretty sure it’s a trait I share with most of America).  Fortunately I think we blindsided them by showing up to eat there so we sidestepped the handshake when we got there by throwing open the door, taking off running and throwing ourselves at the first table by the door.

They got me on the way out though.

I ordered huevos con papa which, as I explained to my other half (who is from Louisiana and doesn’t know the linguistics of spanish as well as I do) huevos con papas means mexican food in spanish.

Definitely try La Familia at night, they light your margarita on fire when they give it to you.  And as we all know, fire + alcohol = good times.

But after your flaming margaritas, don’t forget.  They are waiting for you on the way out.

Yukatan Taco Stand

To say I might have been over served last night would be an understatement.  My evening started classy at Saint Emilion, started going downhill with my arrival at Showdown (two things about that statement.  1- who goes to Showdown after going to Saint Emilion?  Obviously I should have just gone home at that point.  2- I have my own mug there.  Awesome or I seriously need to get my shit together?…I haven’t decided yet) and ended poorly at Jack in the Box.  Judge me, it’s fine.  I do.

But, point being, it resulted in delicious tacos for lunch today.  Not a total loss.

I like Yukatan because I like the table hot sauce.  It’s tasty and mucho spicy.  That and the frozen screwdrivers are strong.  Not that I will be having any.

Oh god, maybe just one.

909 W Magnolia

Trough Burger Wagon

I’m friends with this guy on Facebook and everyday when he posts even stupider things than the day before, I always question why I am friends with him (I can actually answer my own question.  It’s laziness).  But today, he showed me another reason.

He checked in, commented and liked the Trough Burger Wagon.

This place is right by my house and I wasn’t actually working so the dog and I walked over.

(potato, egg and cheese breakfast taco)

I ended up knowing the guy working (oh, high school) so mine was made “with love”, which I doubt yours will be but it was extra awesome.

They’re open weekdays starting at 6am.  Since it’s crazy to be out eating tacos that early, I went at 9:30.

An outdoor picnic table and this lovely seating area litter the parking lot off to the side of Durty Crow (another favorite of mine) so drop by late night or early morning.    The food is simple and seriously good.   It’s actually so good, I checked-in, commented and liked the Trough Burger Wagon.  And I never do that shit.

Thank you Alex.