Vodka & Pancakes

the things I eat and the drinks I drink…a Louisiana blog


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Chat Room…for the virtual drinkers

As I moved across town, I was plagued with thoughts of ‘where will I get drunk now?’ and ‘who will take out my trash?’.   But as I have lived on Magnolia for five days now I can easily answer those questions that so plagued me that initial drive.  One, as I am learning, I can easily get drunk anywhere.  And two, apparently I will take out the trash.  Which blows.

When we moved in, the landlord said, “Don’t mind all the pan-handlers.  I know them, It’s Little Joe and Waylan.  Just keep telling them you don’t have any money.  It took a couple years but they don’t even bother asking me anymore.”  Well thats fantastic.  Two dude, who probably make more money panhandling than I do at my real job, are going to be asking me for money for the next couple years.

chat room

But I’m getting off track.  I was curious as to what would be my new “Shamrock”, which was my go-to dive by my old house, so we decided to test some places out.

We started at the Chat Room.  Yes I have been here before and then I vowed never to return. But that says something about vows you make when you’re drunk.  They’re stupid and pointless.  I got riled up several years ago because the shot offerings of the day were (keep in mind I was looking to take shots which speaks to my frame of mind) a shot for Democrats, only $3 made with shittyshit, and shots for Republicans, at a less reasonable $12 made with fancy shit.  I get it, I really do.  But being the conservative Republican I am, albeit potty mouthed conservative Republican, I thought it was pretentious and placed my vow to the Gods never to return.   So I went back last night.

chat room- scotch

Honestly, Glenlivet is Glenlivet, and tastes the same anywhere you go.  But having it being served to you from a place that originated as a bar that you could go hang out with all your virtual friends makes it taste more interesting.  I don’t remember if there were any pooters (i.e. computers to all you non techie idiots) inside but I made a mental note to look next time I go back.  And if we are going to be saying truthful things, I will see you there tonight.

tequila- yukatan

Post Chat Room, we went with the best idea at the time, which was tequila shots at Yukatan.  The dude I live with and I have revolve our lives around walking everywhere.  It was a major factor in deciding where to live; we have to be able to walk, get foods and drunk, and then be able to ‘walk’ home.  As I aforementioned about Waylan, I truly don’t have the money to spend on something frivolous, like a DUI and such.  So as we were leaving the Chat Room to head the TWO BLOCKS to Yukatan, the guy we were with wants to drive.  That we would walk two blocks apparently was a concept he couldn’t conceptualize.

So we pile in the back of the suburban and make the 12 second drive.

How many flights of tequila do three people need?  Two.  How many aspirin do I need this morning?  Five.  It helps at 8am while listening to Little Joe and Waylan call each other bitches outside.  I shit you not.

At least I haven’t been asked for money yet.  I don’t fucking have any.  Don’t bother.

SIDE NOTE: Actually the point, that I got out to bed to type, was that we ate at Temaki last night.  And it was fucking amazing.  Two things about it.  One- I saw a woman, sitting with her two kids order an entire bottle of wine and slam it.  Classic moves.  Two- everything was amazing.  Like spectacularly amazing.  Freshly made in-house french macaroons with fresh strawberries have ruined me for all other macaroons.  Even ones I ate in Paris aren’t this good.  I forgot to take pictures but thats fine.  I’m eating there every night for the rest of my life.

Temaki & Chat Room.  Match made in Magnolia heaven.

 

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Fireside Pies & a shot of Patron. No thanks, I’m just going to go to bed.

Here’s the thing about Fireside Pies.  It’s delicious.  But here’s the thing about Patron.  It’s not.

 

My friend, who is a wine and liquor rep that I need to de-friend, and I were going to go to dinner.  So when she picked me up and informed me we had to swing by the bar for some coffee flavored Patron shots first I almost opened the car door and rolled out.  Would have been safer for me in the long run.

This is the same friend who three weeks ago, I passed out at 8am in her lawn til the sprinklers got me.  Same friend that two weeks ago her boyfriend had to carry her out of a party I hosted at my house by 8pm.  Like I said, de-friend.

We used to know this guy and when we would go to the bar, he would always make a big production and order everyone Patron shots.  Fast forward a year or two and I found out that every time he ordered shots, the bartender poured his as water.  Well, that guy sucks and we don’t hang out anymore.

But I learned two important that day.  One- don’t have sex with and not call back  the person you are depending on keeping your water secret.  She spilled and then informed him she had been charging him Patron pricing for that water all along.  Two- don’t fuck with that lady.

I feel like this is how they serve plates at Fireside because within seconds mine looks like this.   Honestly they could have served my plate like this because I had already had three Patron shots and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

This is one of my favorite places and I think the food is the most delicious food of all time.  Although, I used to really like this taco place but ate there sober one time and found that my tastebuds rejected it.  So who knows.


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St Pete’s Dancing Marlin. Deep Ellum.

I had to meet a friend in Dallas the other day and was feeling like branching out of my normal range of two bars where I normally go.  Then someone told me that Meddlesome Moth was opening in Fort Worth so then I realized I will never have to go back to Dallas of the rest of my life.

Although it was extremely hard to get home, when I was in high school and college I used to love to go out to Deep Ellum for whatever reason.  When I wanted to be alone, it was a good place to go walk around (you see some weird shit there), at night to go out with friends (the music scene can be awesome or terrible) or go to rando shops selling anything from vintage to sex toys or $50 candles.

I hadn’t been out there in several years so my friend and I decided to brave it for a drink.  I had to google where to go, thank god for google otherwise I would probably never leave my living room, and it gave us St Pete’s Dancing Marlin.

It was a little hole in the wall but really cool.  I was the only person there for awhile (the person I met is habitually 45 minutes late everywhere we go), but considering it was 4 on a Wednesday I figured all the respectable people were still at work.

Overrated.  I had things to do, I had to go Pete’s.


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Lola’s. I saw someone eating Twinkies.

So I love coming here.  It’s dark and moody and you can never tell if it’s day or night outside.  I also like it because I think that this pic over the bar looks like Lil’ Kim.  My boyfriend and I fight over that every time we go.  He apparently does not.

The people who work there don’t particularly seem to care for us but for all I know they could just be completely ambivalent to everyone.  If I had a bar and someone wanted to buy something from me, I don’t care what it is you want, if you’re giving me money I can muster up some bullshit for you.  Even if you’re ordering something terrible.  Rum?  Fine, even you get a half smile.

I like the decor and I want to steal their lighting.  Oh, and I sat next to someone who ate two Twinkies.  First off, I didn’t realize America still sells Twinkies and, second, I was grossly fascinated.  Who can legitimately pull two Twinkies out of their purse (yes, a female) and proceed to eat them in a smoky bar?

Go do that shit in the closet like a respectable person.  Anyway,this place is great, it’s one of the few small, old school bars left in the area.  Kind of sad…


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I Drink at Wired Willy’s. You Should Too.

Regardless of the name, I drink there.  I drink there and I like it.

They have the best bartenders and the worst wine.  While this does not by any stretch deter me from drinking it, I find it disconcerting when I ask for Cabernet, my options are Shiraz or something called Sweet Wine.  I will take the lesser of two evils and go with option one.

And apparently if last night is any indication, I will have 6 glasses please.

It’s at 7th and Carroll, so that means I can walk.  Another reason Wire Willy’s goes to the top of the list.  And seriously, best bartenders.

Oh, and they lifted their ban on smoking.  So go smoke your cigarettes there.