Vodka & Pancakes

the things I eat and the drinks I drink…a Louisiana blog

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Temaki…and Jazz Hands. And Recreational Drugs.

I can’t make fun of it because I genuinely love it.  But that said, it’s slow.  Like my dead grandmother slow.  Which is ok to say because she was mean as shit.  And didn’t like me.  Which is impossible.

Also, I told the owner it was my “favoritest restaurant of all time” and he wasn’t too impressed.  Like it was the 1,000th time he had heard that that day.


I always get the tomato miso soup because its ultra delicious in my tummy.  I wanted to take a picture, so I told my boyfriend to move his hands.  This is what I got.

temaki- jazz hands

Jazz hands at Temaki.

But my problem started when I walked into the Bearded Lady at 4:30.  Our two beers were $8.  My manfriend was like, “wow, $8 is really cheap.”  Is that what we have been programmed to think?  Eight dollars can buy me an 18 pack (if I’m getting all college style on your ass and get Keystone).  Anyway, we then hit the Usual then Temaki.  Apparently 5:45 is not an acceptable time for anyone under the age of 65 to eat, so we had to have a drink first.

Or several.  Thats how we normally do it.


Afterwards, we went to the Chat Room, another mistake, as I currently have a monster fucking headache and am having to one-eye it to write this.  Anyways, I read online the Chat Room serves minors, but I didn’t see anyone other than us under the age of 40 there.  That said, some guy I unfortunately know walked up and joined us saying he was about to leave to go eat at Mijo’s (buy the Groupon!  It’s always there!).  He asked if after we wanted to come over for “some weed and coke if yall like to party” (I shit you not).  Is that a measure of how much you like to party?  I thought I liked to party, but am I in the baby party league?  Apparently so because I thought the most interesting thing about that sentence was the fact he was going to go eat at Mijos.

So as he left with my imparting words of ‘get the quinoa tortilla soup and dare to get off drugs’ (boom) I realized I guess I’m not a ‘cool’ partier.  When tortilla soup is more appealing than recreational drugs you are with me in the baby party league.

I’ll just stick with my 18 pack of Keystone.  God, I’ll never be cool.




Chat Room…for the virtual drinkers

As I moved across town, I was plagued with thoughts of ‘where will I get drunk now?’ and ‘who will take out my trash?’.   But as I have lived on Magnolia for five days now I can easily answer those questions that so plagued me that initial drive.  One, as I am learning, I can easily get drunk anywhere.  And two, apparently I will take out the trash.  Which blows.

When we moved in, the landlord said, “Don’t mind all the pan-handlers.  I know them, It’s Little Joe and Waylan.  Just keep telling them you don’t have any money.  It took a couple years but they don’t even bother asking me anymore.”  Well thats fantastic.  Two dude, who probably make more money panhandling than I do at my real job, are going to be asking me for money for the next couple years.

chat room

But I’m getting off track.  I was curious as to what would be my new “Shamrock”, which was my go-to dive by my old house, so we decided to test some places out.

We started at the Chat Room.  Yes I have been here before and then I vowed never to return. But that says something about vows you make when you’re drunk.  They’re stupid and pointless.  I got riled up several years ago because the shot offerings of the day were (keep in mind I was looking to take shots which speaks to my frame of mind) a shot for Democrats, only $3 made with shittyshit, and shots for Republicans, at a less reasonable $12 made with fancy shit.  I get it, I really do.  But being the conservative Republican I am, albeit potty mouthed conservative Republican, I thought it was pretentious and placed my vow to the Gods never to return.   So I went back last night.

chat room- scotch

Honestly, Glenlivet is Glenlivet, and tastes the same anywhere you go.  But having it being served to you from a place that originated as a bar that you could go hang out with all your virtual friends makes it taste more interesting.  I don’t remember if there were any pooters (i.e. computers to all you non techie idiots) inside but I made a mental note to look next time I go back.  And if we are going to be saying truthful things, I will see you there tonight.

tequila- yukatan

Post Chat Room, we went with the best idea at the time, which was tequila shots at Yukatan.  The dude I live with and I have revolve our lives around walking everywhere.  It was a major factor in deciding where to live; we have to be able to walk, get foods and drunk, and then be able to ‘walk’ home.  As I aforementioned about Waylan, I truly don’t have the money to spend on something frivolous, like a DUI and such.  So as we were leaving the Chat Room to head the TWO BLOCKS to Yukatan, the guy we were with wants to drive.  That we would walk two blocks apparently was a concept he couldn’t conceptualize.

So we pile in the back of the suburban and make the 12 second drive.

How many flights of tequila do three people need?  Two.  How many aspirin do I need this morning?  Five.  It helps at 8am while listening to Little Joe and Waylan call each other bitches outside.  I shit you not.

At least I haven’t been asked for money yet.  I don’t fucking have any.  Don’t bother.

SIDE NOTE: Actually the point, that I got out to bed to type, was that we ate at Temaki last night.  And it was fucking amazing.  Two things about it.  One- I saw a woman, sitting with her two kids order an entire bottle of wine and slam it.  Classic moves.  Two- everything was amazing.  Like spectacularly amazing.  Freshly made in-house french macaroons with fresh strawberries have ruined me for all other macaroons.  Even ones I ate in Paris aren’t this good.  I forgot to take pictures but thats fine.  I’m eating there every night for the rest of my life.

Temaki & Chat Room.  Match made in Magnolia heaven.


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The Usual then Mijo’s & thoughts on why I’m lazy…

It’s been awhile since I updated this.  I kept telling myself I was “busy” but as someone oh so dear to me pointed out, I rarely am doing anything and was being lazy.  So I decided it was time to update.  And call that person an asshole.

Last night, the guy I live with and I went to a place over on Magnolia called Mijo’s. We originally went during lunch a couple weeks ago after remembering the restaurant is always on Groupon (doesn’t really seem like a  sound business plan) so we decided to buy $30 worth of food for $15.

the usual- french 75

Last night we went to go have a drink at the Usual (my fave, his least) and walked across the street to Mijo’s.  After looking on the app, my boyfriend sadly informed me that there weren’t any current Groupons for Mijo’s.  It might have been the look on my face (or the passive aggressive comment about how I couldn’t believe he was going to use a Groupon on date night) but I was then subjected to an informative speech about how Groupons are, in fact, not a representation of how much someone loves another person.  As I only half-listened I also recall something about being ‘fiscally savvy’.

Oh, romance…

Mijo- wine

But back to Mijo’s.  One exceptionally great thing about this place is that for $8, you get half a gallon of wine.  I used my hand as a point of reference but my boyfriend informed me that my giant man hands won’t give my bucket of wine the credit it’s due (I have little girlie lady hands, by the way).

mijos- wine 2

Several years ago, he gave me one of those wine glasses that holds an entire bottle of wine.  I like the concept but, honestly, if I’m in the mood that I need to put an entire bottle of wine in one single glass then I’m just going to cut out the middle man and go straw to bottle.

But again, back to Mijo’s.  It’s asian/mexican fusion so it’s confusing.  Plus I really don’t care for asian food so I might not be the best person to listen to.  The guy I was with loved it.  Walking the block to the restaurant, we randomly saw someone we know who said to get the lasagna.  So, maybe it’s mexican/asian/italian fusion.  And they have weird forks.

mijos- food

So in conclusion, I’ll go to Mijo’s for the wine.  My boyfriend will go for the food (look at his little girlie martini in the picture).

Get the lasagna…


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Santa Fe. Got me some wine…

I learned many a thing this weekend at the Wine & Chile Fest.  You know, about myself, about others, about shit in general…but here is one important thing I learned.

Succinct and couldn’t be more accurate.  

I do love me some wine.  Especially 72 glasses of it.

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Santa Fe. Close your borders.

So as I begin day two of the search for my car, I suddenly realize something.  I’m an idiot.

A couple days ago I went out with friends to celebrate her new engagement.  Now I’m searching for  my car.  So after 45 minutes of walking in the general direction of the general area that houses my car, boom.  Found my car parked next to an El Camino.

Now President Kitty and I are off to an unfamiliar city to drink wine all day for a wine festival.   Fantastic.  Thank god we don’t need my car for this one.

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The Gold Standard.

I really like what they did with this place.  Considering I didn’t care for 7th Haven, it wouldn’t have taken much.  I think that was more my problem though than 7th Haven’s. One time my boyfriend and I decided to walk to Fred’s for lunch and on the way, we stopped in 7th Haven to one drink.  Next thing we know, it’s 6:30 and time to put one foot on the floor and go to bed.  Like I said, probably my fault.

That said, my drink at G.S. was amazing (Pimm’s Cup) but my boyfriend’s was tres terriblé.  That was his fault though.  It’s a aspect of our relationship. I always pick really well and he always picks really poorly.  It’s so baffling to watch, he will pick the absolute worst thing on every menu.  Every time. I never understand it.

I pick awesome.  Always.

Good call, I say ‘fuck Patron’ as well.  That shit has never done anything good for me.

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Frankie’s. And Tigers.

Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom I’ll eat nachos anywhere.

So when everyone was like, ‘hey, Frankie’s is opening in Fort Worth!’ I was like, ‘hey, I don’t give a shit’ because a place that serves frozen vodka red bull is a place I don’t need to frequent.  But they do also have nachos and even though they were gross, as I aforementioned, I’ll eat nachos anywhere.

So unfortunately I sat behind this woman and this tiger and he stare at me the entire time.

He tried to be subtle and hide but I could feel his judging eyes while I ate my nachos with a side of veggie burger.

When I finally escaped to the bathroom I found that Einstein and Chairman Meow also frequent this place.  It isn’t for the nachos so it must be for the frozen vodka red bull.