I can’t make fun of it because I genuinely love it. But that said, it’s slow. Like my dead grandmother slow. Which is ok to say because she was mean as shit. And didn’t like me. Which is impossible.
Also, I told the owner it was my “favoritest restaurant of all time” and he wasn’t too impressed. Like it was the 1,000th time he had heard that that day.
I always get the tomato miso soup because its ultra delicious in my tummy. I wanted to take a picture, so I told my boyfriend to move his hands. This is what I got.
Jazz hands at Temaki.
But my problem started when I walked into the Bearded Lady at 4:30. Our two beers were $8. My manfriend was like, “wow, $8 is really cheap.” Is that what we have been programmed to think? Eight dollars can buy me an 18 pack (if I’m getting all college style on your ass and get Keystone). Anyway, we then hit the Usual then Temaki. Apparently 5:45 is not an acceptable time for anyone under the age of 65 to eat, so we had to have a drink first.
Or several. Thats how we normally do it.
Afterwards, we went to the Chat Room, another mistake, as I currently have a monster fucking headache and am having to one-eye it to write this. Anyways, I read online the Chat Room serves minors, but I didn’t see anyone other than us under the age of 40 there. That said, some guy I unfortunately know walked up and joined us saying he was about to leave to go eat at Mijo’s (buy the Groupon! It’s always there!). He asked if after we wanted to come over for “some weed and coke if yall like to party” (I shit you not). Is that a measure of how much you like to party? I thought I liked to party, but am I in the baby party league? Apparently so because I thought the most interesting thing about that sentence was the fact he was going to go eat at Mijos.
So as he left with my imparting words of ‘get the quinoa tortilla soup and dare to get off drugs’ (boom) I realized I guess I’m not a ‘cool’ partier. When tortilla soup is more appealing than recreational drugs you are with me in the baby party league.
I’ll just stick with my 18 pack of Keystone. God, I’ll never be cool.